Hello! I know I’m a little behind schedule in welcoming you all to 2017, but better late than never! In fact, it’s one of the few things I’m committed to working on in the new year — realizing that not everything needs to be done right this very second … some things can wait, at least a little while! Balancing everything as a full-time working mother is no easy task … the worst thing you can do is unnecessarily create unrealistic expectations for yourself. So, this year, I’m taking a step back and a deep breath, and re-priortizing.
Looking back at 2016, perhaps one of the most difficult years of my life (yes, seriously) … I learned so much … about myself, about being a wife and mother, about balance, and about priorities. Through all the challenges and successes emerged four key themes – life lessons — some that I already knew but needed reminding, and a some that I’m really just beginning to understand.
Life is full of joy and hardships — you have to fully embrace the joyful times and accept the hard times.
I think we all know this deep down … life is a series of ups and downs, and we all need to learn to roll with the punches. But, to really get at the heart of the matter, you need to dig a bit deeper here. It’s all fine and good to recognize there a good times and bad times — it’s quite another to gently roll between the two instead of sharply rising and abruptly crashing between the two. To master the former, it takes maturity, self-awareness, faith, and acceptance. This year taught me that I am still very much a novice in surfing through the challenges of life.
Over the course of 2016, I was barraged with a series of challenges, both personal and professional, as well as the extraordinary high of experiencing my first full year of motherhood. I fought through some of the most frightening moments of my life while also enjoying some of the most joyful and memorable of my life — and believe me, the whiplash of emotions took it’s toll.
I’m not going to lie … this is going to be the hardest resolution for me, hands down. Enjoying the good times really all boils down to mindfulness, which is hard! Setting aside the to-do list, quieting the mind, and focusing on the present — you have to do it all if you want to really enjoy the moment and fully experience the joyful times in your life. On the flip side, knowing that life will always throw curveballs, some of them extraordinarily difficult, and accepting it … knowing that whatever life throws at you, you’ll be okay, is hard.
In 2017, my goal is to accept the hard times with confidence, knowing that no matter what challenges I may face, I’ll come out the other side. That doesn’t mean I won’t experience fear or confusion — I’m human. It does mean I will not let that fear send me into an emotional tailspin — I will control it, with perspective and faith. And on the flip side, I won’t let fear of future hardship prevent me from fully experiencing the joy that comes with life’s good times. I will focus on the present, soaking up every moment and every blessing.
Life is precious — don’t take one moment for granted.
As I alluded to above, 2016 included some of the most difficult moments of my life. Without divulging every detail, let’s just say I did not expect to sit by Livi’s side as she spent three days in the ICU before her first birthday. The fear I experienced at the possibility of losing my little girl will live in my heart for the rest of my life. But, I truly believe every experience contains a silver lining. In this case, I learned that Jacob and I have an amazing partnership, and together we can get through anything. Our scare with Livi also reminded me that life is precious… it’s fleeting… it can end in a heartbeat… and not one moment should be taken for granted.
This theme is inherently tied to the previous, which I’m sure you can see now that I’ve shared a few details. How do you go through an experience like that and not live an anxiety-ridden life? That’s the million-dollar question, one that will take a lifetime to answer. But this year, I’ll start by taking nothing for granted — which means enjoying every moment without fear of what the next moment may bring.
There’s never a good time to take a risk and go after what you want — there’s always going to be reasons not to … but if you really want it, you’ll re-prioritize your life to make it happen. Excuses only handicap you.
I almost didn’t post this theme because I believe it requires a bit more thought and explanation than I plan to give it here — specifically, the importance of identifying what it is that you actually want. Sounds simple, right? I guarantee you, it’s not (more on that later). But, assuming you’ve identified what you want, the next step is finding the courage to do it! Also difficult. I thought about starting a blog for a while, and I kept telling myself, “my life is already so busy,” “I work full time,” “I have a one-year old baby,” etc. There was always some reason why now wasn’t the right time.
Then, one day, I realized, there will never be a good time. I’m a wife, mother of an 18-month old, full-time attorney, and Jacob and I are expecting baby number two! And we want three, so my life isn’t going to slow down any time soon. And, honestly, it doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, chances are, you’re busy — that’s life in 2017. So, unless you want to trudge on day-to-day mindlessly, you have to stop and ask yourself what it is you really want, create a plan to reach your goal, and actually prioritize each day’s activities to turn your goal into reality. But first, you have to decide that now is the time, no excuses. Excuses only handicap you and keep you from going after what you want.
In 2016, I realized this on a larger scale — I started my blog, which is actually quite an undertaking (trust me, it’s time consuming). In 2017, I plan to implement the same philosophy into my every-day routine. Think about it, how many times each day do you have the opportunity to tackle a task on your to-do-list, or even just try something new, only to make excuses about why now’s not the time? I do it every day! This year, I plan to stop (within reason, of course). If it’s something that fits within my goals and priorities, no more excuses … I’m doing it!
Balance is an art, not a science … and it is a lifetime journey
Last year’s roller-coaster of emotions not only left me crashing from one thing to the next, but it also left me completely unbalanced. There were days when I couldn’t tell which way was up or down. It’s certainly true that the difficult, and unforeseeable, circumstances I was facing contributed to the lack of balance, but another major part of the problem was my unwillingness to slow down and take time for myself. Despite what we went through with Livi, I convinced myself that I couldn’t afford to take time off work, so I pushed on, caring for Livi and working from home full-time. I continued blogging. I continued working out 6 days/week. In other words, I thought I could continue to do it all through the emotional turmoil and lack of sleep. The result — I turned inward, and my days became nothing more than a series of endless tasks, a long list of to-dos that never seemed to get checked off.
At some point, I stopped and asked myself why I was working so hard — why was I putting so much pressure on myself to do all sorts of things every day that really didn’t matter at the time? I started to re-prioritize, and understand that sometimes in life, due to circumstances beyond your control, you have to let some things fall by the wayside (even if only temporarily), that ordinarily are important to you, but that ultimately don’t make the cut list under the circumstances. Sure, it might be a blow to your pride, but having it all has consequences. And therein lies the key to balance — how much of yourself are you willing to give before the consequences of all that giving begins to outweigh the benefits of the giving? The answer is different for everyone, and it may even differ for you as you move through various stages of your life.
In 2017, I’m committed to working towards that balance — and I stress “working towards,” because another thing I learned is that you’re never fully in balance for long. You may find it, but it will be short-lived, because life happens, and then you’re forced to adjust once again. The key is to recognize that there are consequences to every decision, and when you give to one area, you will be taking from another — that you can have it all, you just can’t have it all all the time.
And there you have it — what I learned in 2016 and my goals for 2017! I’d love to hear yours, so send me a note, or leave a comment!
And you can check out all my post details below!
xoxo, K
SWEATSHIRT: H&M (sold out), similar here, also love this one and this one // JEANS: Loft // SOCKS: Loft // EARRINGS: Family Heirloom, similar here // ROSE QUARTZ RING: Ann Taylor (old), similar here // GOLD RINGS: Gorjana // COFFEE MUG: Harry & David (no longer available), similar here // JOURNAL: Anthropologie (sold out), similar here // MARBLE MACBOOK COVER: Urban Outfitters
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